Knowing when to quit

Some may say {and did say!} it was past time to give up on our sweet Tennyson. The stress he was adding to our day to day family life was through the roof. Taking the hose to him several times a day to get the black muck from the creek off of him was 30+ minutes I truly did not have! The stress of the door being left open and the game of chase Tennyson seemed to love, was not how I would've chosen to spend another 30+ minutes minimum daily. The way he would break out of any kennel you could find (think nice metal costing far too much money) or build (think far too many hours of Chad's time). In fact he even broke out of a nice 6ft chain link kennel. He chewed up the back seat of our new van and no less than 3 seat belts. Grrrrr. But the worst part is that he would just take off with no regard for streets and cars. An accident was waiting to happen and the stress was getting too much. Inside he was the perfect sweet pooch. Outside he was a running fool! He thought it was a game. We didn't agree.

We worked on him with basic obedience. Sit, stay, come... But he was a stubborn one. Most dogs we've trained were suckers for treats (scooby snacks!), but he couldn't care less! He did what HE wanted to do when it made sense to HIM. He clearly had no respect for any of us as Alpha, not even Chad.

BUT he was also a dream come true in many areas. His only low growl was when a stranger came up the steps or walked by the house. And he almost never barked. He never ever woke the girls from a nap, nor did he knock them over or hurt them. His sweet nature charmed even the harshest critics. He was one in a million. Except his high-strung nature and his husky-ways of needing to run. Also, we have many farm animals and he was not acting like the sweet, nurturing farm dog we'd hoped he might be. He was pretty mellow but once he was around the goats, chickens, and bunnies he went nuts, chasing and barking! Not good.

We took him to so many dog parks and we did do everything we could to give him exercise. Aidan did his best to take him out often, always putting his leash on him and taking him to the area Chad had built that was fenced in. But somehow Tennyson always managed to get away causing great stess and strife. And anytime we took him to a park that wasn't off-lease Aidan would fight with me about not letting Tennyson out of the car because he was afraid of the inevitable break-a-way of the 100lb bundle of energy! He actually got very angry at me several times, which is unusual for me to have to deal with. I was ready to give up and I wanted our peaceful family back. Oh, and did I mention that he figured out how to open our sliding glass doors?!?!?!

I've been hesitant to write about it because truly I didn't know how it would turn out. I knew I'd give it my darndest but how much can I handle??? 6 kids, farm animals and homeschooling, fostering and social workers, it's all good, but the dog...too much.

Unfortunately, we'd often commented (Annah and Aidan mostly) how it was not unlike the way we would NEVER give up on Annah the way her former foster parents had. We'd made a commitement to her and her behavior (normal teenage behavior or not) would not determine whether or not we would keep that promise. Just as the only way we would have to let Annah go was if she hurt another child purposely, Tennyson would not be let go unless he hurt one of our children. Commitement is something we talk about often, and it means a lot to us to show our integrity to our children by honoring our word. So it was very very hard to even consider giving Tennyson away. And we knew that Tennyson would have the same struggles with any other family, and we were much more likely to persevere with him than anyone else. We didn't want for him to bounce from family to family or become an only outside dog in a fenced yard because he is so very social.

One day after numerous interruption in our homeschooling because Tennyson had not had a chance to run in a day or so, I had had it. Aidan was arguing with me and the tension was too much. Something had to give! I called Chad and said "That's it!! If you want your wife to not go crazy you MUST find this dog a better home!!" So Chad placed an ad in craigslist. He was too cute making such a long list of requirements including a 6ft no climb fence, owners that would be home with him nearly all the time, we'd have to see their home etc, etc. We showed the ad to Aidan to demonstrate how serious we were that something had to change. He was heart broken but he said "I choose our family over Tennyson." Well that same day Chad came home with an expensive last ditch effort. A shock collar. I was mad he spent even more money.

Chad figured it was really not a big price to pay considering we got him just a few months ago for free on CL. But I did not think much of the idea and was not a fan of shock collars as the idea seemed so punitive. Also, looking back at how much money we'd spent on him...he just got neutered, and we had a 22 bullet removed from his side (no doubt from his "running" days back at his last home), kennel, collars, leashes, harnesses, etc et. Plural on the collars, leashes, and harnesses because he managed to chew through several of each in just a few seconds and even destroyed a plastic kennel after being left alone for just a ½ hour… Then there is the nightly routine of my 9yr old wrestling a 100lb dog into a kennel for bedtime. I often had to help and it was pretty tiring and obnoxious. Treats wouldn’t even lure him in…

That evening while Aidan and I went to the store, Chad tried on the collar and adjusted it to fit him and to see if it seemed like the prongs would still touch despite his thick coat. He was distracted for second as He was also cooking dinner at the time. Seconds later he heard the kids outside yelling “Tennyson is out!!”. So he quickly went to the deck and could see him disappearing into the neighbor’s yard at full speed with a devilish look on his face…

So he turned to collar to low, called him, no response, so BUZZ. Now this is NOT how he planned to introduce him to it, but here he was and, well, he just decided on the fly to try it. First buzz, a slight ‘yelp’, but he kept on trucking. He shouted again as he was now nearly out of voice range. No response. Turned it to med\high and zapped him a second time. YELP! Seconds later he was trucking back to the yard as fast as he left.

He came right to Chad and he greeted him and praised him for returning. Well, that was really all it took! He was a new dog from then on. I think we only zapped him 2 or 3 more times over the next few days and only on med\low settings. I gotta say he is the perfect dog now. He is calm and happy. He already knew all the basic commands, but just didn’t feel like listening and obeying. Now he KNOWS Chad is alpha and listens to him and respects him. Now he is so much better - like a new dog really. Not perfect, but getting there. But the big thing is that he does not leave the yard. I can walk the yard with goats and chickens and he does not even care that they are there. He is still interested in the rabbits, but way more constrained.

That night when Aidan and I got home, we came in the door and Chad greeted us with Tennyson at his side. We carefully came in and made sure they dog did not slip past like usual. {NOT a fun way to live when you are a family of 8 and there is always someone needing to go in or out one of the doors} But Chad reached out and opened the door wide and asked us to move aside. We looked wide eyed “what are you doing?!?!?!” “Trust me.” Aidan freaked out "NO!" I restrained Aidan. Chad walked out and Tennyson came with him never leaving his side. Not scared or anything, but happy, just realizing who was alpha and that Chad needed to be respected and obeyed. We could not belive it! It was like he was relieved to finally have some rules and some boundaries! Wow.

Now the whole family can be out in the yard, dog off leash, front yard or back, and he stays right with his family happy and content as can be. He even goes right to his kennel at night with no more wrestling matches with my son!

I am just amazed and so thankful. I really loved him, and now totally adore him!

Oh, and Chad gave him a little kids wading pool in the back yard for when he gets hot. Instead of looking for the nearest mud pit and sneaking off, he now heads to the wading pool and will wade or lay in it as needed. Now he looks out for all the animals like the good {mini-}farm dog I'd always hoped for. Thank-you God!

I really believe in discipline and the freedom it provides through loving boundaries enforced consistently. I think of discipline as different than punishment and it may seem silly but now I believe it applies to a dog as well as children. The freedom and happiness boundaries provide! I have a neat chart I will post later. But I really was shocked when I read these verses again this morning...

And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,

Hbr 12:6 because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he disciplines everyone he accepts as a son."

Hbr 12:7 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?

Hbr 12:8 If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons.

Hbr 12:9 Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live!

Hbr 12:10 Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; and God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness.

We truly love this dog. And had we not had the strength and the determination to stick with him and discipline him, we would have missed out on the blessing he is now. The way he is so loyal and follows me everywhere. The ways the boys sleep better at night with him by their sides. The way he does his sweet low growl when he sees someone pass by the house that he doesn't know...I know he would protect us if need be. He is Aidan's best friend and I'm so so glad we did not give up on him.