99% sure!?

God's 1% is POWERFUL!

T~Bella is still here. This is no small miracle. Will she still be here in 1 week, 1 month, a year? I do not know. But what I do know is that a little girl prayed to Jesus asking for the judge to say "not yet." And the judge said just that. Wow.

How is that for a long story short?

treasured gifts

:: birthday presents ::

scrapbooking supplies from Kara & Lena

date nights from Charity, Lena & Grandma Sharon

yellow roses, my favorite, from Rick and Cheryl

delicious fruit~pounds of apples, pears & plums from Sharon

plus a yummy dinner from Sharon and Nana

and a gorgeous large table fit for our growing family,

from my dear sweet husband

:: counting my blessings today ::

not just the ones I can touch and see

but every breath my Father gives me

Top use for a playard?

Building a fort of course!

Daddy built one too...

I spy a little boy... or two?

It's us!

The boys spend 2+ hours a day in the backyard. Their teacher calls it nature study and PE! ;o) Besides tree climbing, fort-building, rope-swinging and hole digging, running and jumping, duck and chicken chasing (not mother/teacher approved), creek-exploring and trail-making, and mud-pie creations we also have bug collection, labeling and nature journal documenation as well as art!

A tearful day

Tears of joy and pain alike as we celebrated T~Bella...

Charlotte Mason wisdom

Get the child's will with you...

"Now here is a point all parents are not enough awake to~that serious mental and moral ailments require prompt, purposeful, curative treatment, to which the parents must devote themselves for a short time, just as they would a sick child.

Neither punishing him nor letting him alone~the two lines of treatment most favour~ever cured a child. If parents recognised the efficacy and the immediate effects of treatment, they would never allow the spread of ill weeds. For let this be borne in mind, whatever ugly quality disfigures a child, he is but a garden overgrown with weeds: the more fertile the soils; he has within him every possibility of beauty of life and character.

Get rid of the weeds and foster the flowers. It is hardly too much to say that most of the failures in life or character made by man or woman are due to the happy~go~lucky philosophy of the parents. They say, 'The child is so young; he doesn not know any better; but all that will come right as he grows up.' Now, a fault of character left to iteself can do no other than strengthen." Vol. 2 (Parents and Children) , p.87

post soccer practice play

mama's blessings
in addition to a sling, my solution to two girls fighting over mama's lap

other-wise known as the bella-blur; she's always moving!

nothing beats rolling down a grassy hill at sunset on a warm september night

are you watching mama!?!

this is likely the last twin swing as the girls grow

kisses from daddy after a fall

the joy of a pine cone find

we had to drag halle away from the lake kicking & crying

come down aidan, it's time to go home!

some good John McCain quotes

"We must win in Iraq. If we withdraw, there will be chaos; there will be genocide; and they will follow us home."

"Our armed forces will fight for peace in Iraq, a peace built on more secure foundations than are found today in the Middle East. Even more important, they will fight for two human conditions of even greater value than peace: liberty and justice."

"An act of heroism, of extraordinary courage, the grandeur of it, won't easily inspire us to act in imitation, but it can inspire us to emulate its author. For that, we should learn what we can of the whole experience of the subject, the hero's life, as it was before and after, and believe that trying to emulate the character it reveals is one tried way to prepare for the tests that might await us and gain hope that our courage will not be wanting in the moment."

“Glory is not a conceit. It is not a decoration for valor. Glory belongs to the act of being constant to something greater than yourself, to a cause, to your principles, to the people on whom you rely and who rely on you in return.”

"We are taught to understand, correctly, that courage is not the absence of fear, but the capacity for action despite our fears."

2 Little Rascals

Wow, things are changing around here! We have two toddlers now. I am one busy Mama! And I'm loving it!

Two 6 year olds speak

In the seat behind me in our suburban, I hear T~Bella and Ethan discussing good and evil. The elder (by two weeks) declares, "If Satan was God, the world would be terrible people and nothing would be beautiful or pretty at all." T~Bella responds "Yes, because all the awful people would be fighting and there would be fires and no children because no one would get married anymore." Ethan replies, "Yep, even though we can't see Him, I'm so glad God is God." I am too.

worship

'Remember these things, O Jacob,
for you are My servant, O Israel.
I have made you, you are My servant;
O Israel, I will not forget you.

I have swept away your offenses like a cloud,
your sins like the morning mist.
Return to Me, for I have redeemed you.'

Sing for joy O heavens, for the Lord has done this;
shout aloud, O earth beneath.

Burst into song, you mountains,
you forests and all your trees,
for the Lord has redeemed Jacob
He displays His glory in Israel.

Isaiah 44:21-23

(Photo by Chad, camping trip last weekend at Greider Lake.)

yes, it is worth it...

Dear Becca, I'm glad that God brought me into this home and I'm glad that you're like a mother to me, because, if you weren't then I would be really sad and miserable. Dear Becca I'm also glad that you let me cuddle with you sometimes during a movie because when I was younger my mom said I could sleep with her or snuggle with her and she never did. But that's why I'm glad that I'm here with you because my other mom was never there for me and she didn't care if I told her that I got bullied and she wouldn't do anything about it, but now that I'm here with you I feel like I know you would do something and help me. If I wouldn't have come here I would still be in that shelter for teens and miserable sad lonely and lost and confused. Just like I felt when I was with that last foster family that didn't want me. I love you so so MUCH!
Angel 5-10-08
PS Read Corintians 13:4-13:8

(found in the back of my Bible this morning)

Hope and Halle's room

The girls adore their birds. They helped me make their painted, glittered, scrapbooked letters.

Also, for the baby book, Halle's first word? Ball! Hope's? Please. :o)

Comment to the comments on T-Bella's post

Thanks so much for your comments and encouragement. I'll admit I need them, and your prayers!

You know me Mom, I am going to prepare the heck out of it!!! Hoping it helps somewhat at least!

As I tucked her in tonite, she prayed "Jesus, let me, just let me stay here, where I belong. Let the judge say that he believes I am better off with this family. Tell him that I need brothers and sisters. And I need my mama. Amen." Tears of confusion sting more than tears of sadnes. I was not confused earlier. Sad, yes, but not confused. I knew what was happening was right. And now?? Now what?

Toni, you know I never would've though I would be albe to do this. There are so many thing He has taught me over the last 3 years, places he has brought me that I could've sworn I would never be. Regret, depression, fear, doubt, guilt, confusion, despair, selfishness, anger, sickness, and the place I was I would not wish on the worst of enemies. But with it all I learned that I had to dilligently seek Him, and when I did, every morning, the peace slowly returning and the fog lifted. I began to see how obviously I was not where God wanted me to be. Seeking and reading and learning gave way to change in my health, understanding and contentment, peace and joy, a passion to share this wonderful home I originally detested for many seasons, to bring Him glory, desire for change, a 'no matter what' attitude towards what or where or who He has for us. I still cannot tell you how it happened so I challenge you to go there. Just start the foster care process and see what the Spirit does! I am so very excited for you, Reed and Anna.

Learning to Trust

To my T~Bella...

Our sweet girl... for nearly 10 months we've watched you grow and blossom. For so very long you've been a part of our family, so much so that I have felt you were always here.
And I dared to think you might always be.


Writing this before you leave somehow makes me feel better; I'll have too many tears to do it later. At least I can go get a hug when I'm done writing!


You have made me laugh so many times, so hard my sides ached. I have loved teaching you to to love to learn and to love Jesus, praying to Him often, to keep a clean home, to bake and cook, to read, to ride a bike, and to swim.

I want it to be said that even though I am sad, I am not angry and I do believe that it is right for you to be going to live with your Grandma, and eventually maybe your Daddy. Though right now it may be difficult, we did chose this in taking you into our home. You are adamant that it is wrong and you belong here, but I have continued to assure you that your family has a right to you, and we will not be able to fight it. We will still be your extended family even if you do not live with us.

You began calling me Mama about half-way into your time with us, and I couldn't stop you. I have been your Mama. I have cared for you when you were sick and have loved you as much as I love the rest of our children. I have held you when you wake with a bad dream or when you've gotten hurt.

I may only have you with me for a few more weeks and while that breaks my heart, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you belong to Him and He will go with you. (Yes, even "all the way down to Nevada?") On Friday September 26th, just 2 days before your 7th birthday, the judge will decide where you should live. We are covering you in prayer and I know you will be where He wants you. You are a light and you will shine for Him in your new home. But oh how we will miss your antics, your klutziness, your energy, your intensity, your hugs and kisses, your sweet nature and your love!

Things I'll never forget about T~Bella...

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How she loved everything nature... bugs (moths and ants!!!), claiming pet worms and snails, watching and naming birds, everything about kittens, climbing trees, finding big leaves, picking flowers, collecting pine cones, finding shapes in the clouds, playing in the rain and on and on...
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How she LOVED playing games! Especially Twister!
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How much she adored caring for and nurturing her "babies". She will be a wonderful mother some day!!! And how gentle and kind and patient she was with Hope and Halle.

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Her Shirley Temple-like giggles and smiles.
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The way she could run into an end table stubbing her toe, bruising her elbow, just walking through the bedroom! The way she would trip over an air pocket, again and again and again...

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How she could charm anything off of just about anyone~except Chad! (the donuts at Safeway)

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:: How she loved to do a craft of any sort, anytime of the day! ::

:: The way she always had sticky stuff in her hair, always;Without fail. ::

:: How she begged to wear a skirt or dress every single day no matter the occasion. ::

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Jumping, running, flipping with her on the trampoline. And how she was banned from the rope swing because she couldn't swing without hurting herself.

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How she had to hug & kiss us every 10 minutes.

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The way she obeyed so quickly normally,
yet trying to get her out of a swimming pool or lake or river took forever.

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:: Her love of all things girly, twirly, pretty or pink. ::

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The way she had to play with the boys all the time, but oh the drama! They fought every 10 seconds, T~Bella feigned great offenses and tattled non-stop. (I had no idea how rarely the boys tattled until then). I have to try to remember the bad too! ;o)

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The way we would cuddle in the morning, or rock in the rocking chair and talk about all we were going to do that day. Then she would run off and pick out the twins outfits.

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:: How quickly she forgave anyone and everyone of anything. ::

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How I loved her twinkly brown eyes, and happy dimples.

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:: And lastly, how T~Bella taught me to trust God with what I cannot keep. ::