thankful {thursday}

:: :: ::
though we've been under the weather, staying home,
constant coughing, sneezing and we're downright miserable,
it is nothing permanent and we're normally healthy
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This week has been crazy...a broken camera:
annah and aidan are grounded this week,
early to bed, extra chores;
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Lots of soccer practices, track meets, counseling,
social workers, bills, prayer meetings, homeschooling,
but that just means I have money, children and the ability to nurture!
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for Hope and Halle {they got their first haircut yesterday;
and I bought my first 4 pairs of little girl underwear}
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Friday: when I go on our women's retreat, such a great husband I have!
He'll handle 6 kids all weekend with flying colors!
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We begin a new budget in May, frugality will be my focus!
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Our church may be getting a building. Praying my heart out!
And CCM turns 1 on May 11th!
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Being able to lead the children's ministry with Chad
we're enjoying it but I am so very busy,
{Lord, guide and direct our daily steps}
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Homeschool Enrichment class at the YMCA for the 3 boys
{1 hour of swimming (with 30 min swim lesson) &
1 hour of PE class and Art Class (alternating weeks)}
:: :: ::
Annah scrapbooking for me, 2+ pages a day;
my albums will be caught up in no time.
She's a natural.
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Thankful her next hearing is in June;
she may be adopted by the end of the summer!
Wow, 3 girls adopted in the course of 4 months.
Such blessings. Still praying about/for Viktoriya.
:: :: ::
I hear "maaaamaaaa" from two nearly two year olds
in the other room... time to go,
the day is beginning whether I am ready or not
:: :: ::

{13} word wednesday {on thurs}

:: such a happy girl ::

:: so easy to love ::

:: this one loves her daddy ::

mini-chapel

We often start our homeschool days by visiting this little chapel on the way to our favorite park.
The day these pics were taken {poor quality b/c they are from my phone}, Aidan read one of the Psalms to us, we prayed and sang a few songs. 3 cheers for homeschooling. It rocks!!!

{I just noticed my cheesy, holy, Ethan in that picture!lol}

Beautiful Color

A couple hours of uninterrupted play. I just followed them around listening in on their sister talk. They adore the great outdoors. And I adore watching them enjoy God's creation.

wordless wednesday

Attatchment, Adoption and Fostering

I've been thinking about attachment lately. How very very attached my little girls (and my big girl) are to me, and the rest of the family. My heart is so full and contented to have the large family I've always hoped for. In Aidan's words spoken this morning, "I love our family so much I can't even say how much! My heart is going to explode!!!" :o) Why is Aidan so happy? Is it because he's home schooled and he gets to spend the morning exploring his nature wonderland of a yard, nurturing his toddler sisters, learning out in the sunshine, free...? Or is because he's attached to us...all 7 of us?

Thinking about attachment, time, it seems, is what it comes down to really. Spending as much time as possible together. But as I pondered that, I realized it's not entirely true. If I am spending 12 hours a day tomato staking my children, but if I'm walking in my flesh, and not in the spirit, will we be close, loving, attached?

I love that what I read at Nations Around Our Table today. Just after thinking so much about this subject as I tried to fall asleep last night! It's neat how God brings things together when you're dwelling on Him. He desires to give wisdom to those who seek it. {James 1:5} I agree with Shonni's thoughts on focusing our attention on being attached to God and our attachments with our children will be strong and healthy. Isn't it true that when we're walking in the Spirit we've made sure we're focused on things that have eternal value {our children!} and we're going to have love, patience, joy, faithfulness, gentleness, peace, kindness and self-control flowing from us? As Shonni shared, in John 15 we see that we must be truly attached to Him the vine to bear fruit! As we abide in Him, He abides in us. How true is that!?! I do not know why some days I choose to walk alone; those days are not fruitful.

I was talking to two of the boys in the van last night about why more people don't foster/adopt. They truly don't understand it. Why do we receive so many emails everyday, repeated emails, asking for homes for so many children. I know that one reason is the business we are accustomed to. There just isn't enough time. Time for the trainings required. Time for each child, etc. This is not to evoke guilt! Truly, I know a family must be called to do this. I am not praising our family either, we are one with many shortcomings and are so very far from perfect. In fact I wonder why God is allowing us this ministry some days. But what I am saying is this...it is hard.

I told the boys I believe it is because it is hard to have a child come into your family and learn how to get along and do things differently than they're used to, to communicate, to disagree respectfully. Just last night I didn't communicate respectfully to Chad and I had to ask his forgiveness and ask Annah to forgive me for making her uncomfortable. But that is what it is! A family, full of sinners, learning how to love unconditionally. So seek to forgive and to seek forgiveness.

People often ask how we do it. How can you love a child and then let go. "I just could never do that." I would say that too! But it's Him working in me, His spirit in me that allows me to whole-heartedly love a child and later have to let go. Of course it's hard. It's downright painful actually. Physically painful! I cannot imagine how my faith might have been tested had He called us to love Hope and Halle and then let go. I know that letting go of Teighly taught me to persevere, to hope in Him. To trust. And yet isn't it the difficult in life that affords us character? {James 1:2-4} Perseverance leads to hope! {Romans 5:3-5} I cling to that! He is refining us...

Another conversation of note was one with Annah, also yesterday, where she was asking me why we decided not to have any more biological children. She said it would be so exciting to get to go through the process with me, how she'd love to watch my tummy grow, help with the birth and learn how to care for a newborn. I told her how hard it was to be so very sick and how my contractions came earlier and stronger with each birth. But "I would help, take care of you, the boys and even the house! And don't you trust God would take care of the baby till it's born?" Yes, we would trust God with each pregnancy and birth, and yes, each would be an amazing gift from Him.

But, and this trumps ALL, we are called to adopt. God has put it on both Chad heart and my heart, from a very young age {18!} to adopt. I am thankful I experienced pregnancy, nursing and birth...such joy! But the joy of bringing a child into your home, realizing you love them just as much as those born of your body, someone who needs you to protect them and help their lives to be different than they would've been, is a joy just as great!!!

And so I continue to seek attachment. I seek to help our children learn to love and and forgive and seek to know each other and most importantly to know Jesus. The one who allows us to be truly attached.

random family fun

can you guess who?

and can you guess what {Aidan made}?

pretty as a picture

{from Viktoriya's last visit mid-march}

boy's camping {bed}room

I loved the boys room when it was finally "done", 3 years after we moved in! I took pics thankfully because Chad has since added a tortoise cage and two geckos in a tank and it's not so cute anymore. But the boys love it, it's functional and that's what matters, right??? {that's Tennyson's crate under the captains bed}

Random Picture Challenge

Hope at nearly 1 year. Precious girl.

APRIL 2008

or 13th folder

42nd picture

join in here!

{Mini-} Farm Life Fun

So much fun.

Don't get mad Chad. They didn't ruin the bushes!

I like how this video shows Hope and Halle's personalities.

Hope chases the bunny trying to "ole you" {hold you} and Halle wants me to hold her because she's afraid of "King Chubby"!

Ethan shows he's in charge of the animals.
Well, second in charge anyway.

Look who has grown!

at nearly 2...
oh so very attached to mama
halle will not be left anywhere w/o tears &
20 mins of mama playing first
our girls show such empathy, tenderness
opinions galore, regarding everything ;o)
favorite foods are ALL berries, yogurt, broccoli,
chicken, rice, & tea w/honey
size 5 shoes now for hope, 6 for halle,
both in 2t, beginning to potty train
know how to count to 3, love to help me clean,
pick up after their brothers
halle says "owwwfff" when hurt,
hope's fave word "ny ny" for blanket
point to the pink rocker/glider and say "wok"
before I lay them down at night
hope still rocks out when any music is played,
both love worship time at church
adore coloring; they'll sit at the table for 20 minutes
several times a day

happy, contented, smart

best friends

A lesson learned {for GOOD this time}...

I don't know what is wrong with me sometimes. How do I, a Believer, keen to the Evil One's schemes, fall right into his hands, his plan to distract? I know how he uses things, materialism and selfishness, commercialism, to take the focus off the Lord, and yet, another holiday has passed with me playing right into it.

Do you ever do something even though you know you shouldn't and even worse, you know deep down you don't really want to!?! Yet you do it anyway? No? Oh. Well, I do that. Too often. And truly I don't know why. I am a sinner. But an aware sinner, one who knows better!

I guess it could be that my childhood left something to be desired , I try to make up for it by making sure my kids have everything, and more. Yet I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that it's not going matter. They don't need it, what's worse, it's BAD for them. Still, off to Target I go, joining the masses, scooping up the .99 Easter baskets, the soft stuffed chicks and bunnies. I buy plastic eggs, fill them with candy. I stay up late filling them to hide the next day.

Then Sunday morning do I rise early to spend time with my Savior, thanking Him in quietness of heart before the days activities begin? No, and I don't sleep in either, I get up and perfectly arrange 6 Easter baskets, making pretty tags with ribbon and stickers. All for what? To show my kids what matters.

Yes, we do focus on the true meaning of Easter. We ask our children, "What is Easter really about kids?" "Is it important whether or not we wake to Easter baskets or not?" Yet, here they are...And I was so excited to see their faces when they found the little things I'd bought them. I know that it's fluff and that they would fight over the toys later (and they DID!) and I know that they would have sugar highs and later plummet (and they DID!) and saddest of all I know that we would be wasting time focusing on what the world focuses on instead of what matters.

Of couse we prayed and thanked God for allowing Jesus to come to earth and die for our sins. We praised Him for raising Jesus from the dead 3 days later. They did appreciate their gifts and especially loved their wooden crosses to paint. We spoke of why Jesus is not on the cross.

But we still had boys focusing on their new legos throughout the day; and fighting about whether they would get more of their candy now or after dinner. At Charity's mom's house, the selfishness continued and it was torture to stop playing with toys long enough to let me take a picture. My heart was very heavy.

You know what's {almost} funny? Chad, the wise-one, told me so sweetly "Do they really need baskets this year?" "But it's Annah's first Easter with us. And it's just good fun isn't it?" "But do we need to spend the money filling them with so much?" "Yes, honey, I know I go overboard. I'm working on it, I promise." "Okay." I stink. {A side note, a friend once told me, after my boys were mis-behaving and going overboard with decorating my backside with hearts and glue, "It's hard to see our our shortcomings in our kids isn't it?" Yes, it is. And I'm ready to do something about it!}

I really have learned my lesson this time. I am done with spoiling my kids to make them happy and ending up with selfishness instead. Wasted money, wasted time. It's not going to happen again. Check in next year, you'll see!

Just a quick update....

On Monday April 6th, Hope & Halle's adoption was FINALIZED!!! Praise God!!!

It was a really neat experience. We had a great lawyer, really cool judge, and so much support from family\friends.

Pics to come :)

Here are the pictures as promised...