Attatchment, Adoption and Fostering

I've been thinking about attachment lately. How very very attached my little girls (and my big girl) are to me, and the rest of the family. My heart is so full and contented to have the large family I've always hoped for. In Aidan's words spoken this morning, "I love our family so much I can't even say how much! My heart is going to explode!!!" :o) Why is Aidan so happy? Is it because he's home schooled and he gets to spend the morning exploring his nature wonderland of a yard, nurturing his toddler sisters, learning out in the sunshine, free...? Or is because he's attached to us...all 7 of us?

Thinking about attachment, time, it seems, is what it comes down to really. Spending as much time as possible together. But as I pondered that, I realized it's not entirely true. If I am spending 12 hours a day tomato staking my children, but if I'm walking in my flesh, and not in the spirit, will we be close, loving, attached?

I love that what I read at Nations Around Our Table today. Just after thinking so much about this subject as I tried to fall asleep last night! It's neat how God brings things together when you're dwelling on Him. He desires to give wisdom to those who seek it. {James 1:5} I agree with Shonni's thoughts on focusing our attention on being attached to God and our attachments with our children will be strong and healthy. Isn't it true that when we're walking in the Spirit we've made sure we're focused on things that have eternal value {our children!} and we're going to have love, patience, joy, faithfulness, gentleness, peace, kindness and self-control flowing from us? As Shonni shared, in John 15 we see that we must be truly attached to Him the vine to bear fruit! As we abide in Him, He abides in us. How true is that!?! I do not know why some days I choose to walk alone; those days are not fruitful.

I was talking to two of the boys in the van last night about why more people don't foster/adopt. They truly don't understand it. Why do we receive so many emails everyday, repeated emails, asking for homes for so many children. I know that one reason is the business we are accustomed to. There just isn't enough time. Time for the trainings required. Time for each child, etc. This is not to evoke guilt! Truly, I know a family must be called to do this. I am not praising our family either, we are one with many shortcomings and are so very far from perfect. In fact I wonder why God is allowing us this ministry some days. But what I am saying is this...it is hard.

I told the boys I believe it is because it is hard to have a child come into your family and learn how to get along and do things differently than they're used to, to communicate, to disagree respectfully. Just last night I didn't communicate respectfully to Chad and I had to ask his forgiveness and ask Annah to forgive me for making her uncomfortable. But that is what it is! A family, full of sinners, learning how to love unconditionally. So seek to forgive and to seek forgiveness.

People often ask how we do it. How can you love a child and then let go. "I just could never do that." I would say that too! But it's Him working in me, His spirit in me that allows me to whole-heartedly love a child and later have to let go. Of course it's hard. It's downright painful actually. Physically painful! I cannot imagine how my faith might have been tested had He called us to love Hope and Halle and then let go. I know that letting go of Teighly taught me to persevere, to hope in Him. To trust. And yet isn't it the difficult in life that affords us character? {James 1:2-4} Perseverance leads to hope! {Romans 5:3-5} I cling to that! He is refining us...

Another conversation of note was one with Annah, also yesterday, where she was asking me why we decided not to have any more biological children. She said it would be so exciting to get to go through the process with me, how she'd love to watch my tummy grow, help with the birth and learn how to care for a newborn. I told her how hard it was to be so very sick and how my contractions came earlier and stronger with each birth. But "I would help, take care of you, the boys and even the house! And don't you trust God would take care of the baby till it's born?" Yes, we would trust God with each pregnancy and birth, and yes, each would be an amazing gift from Him.

But, and this trumps ALL, we are called to adopt. God has put it on both Chad heart and my heart, from a very young age {18!} to adopt. I am thankful I experienced pregnancy, nursing and birth...such joy! But the joy of bringing a child into your home, realizing you love them just as much as those born of your body, someone who needs you to protect them and help their lives to be different than they would've been, is a joy just as great!!!

And so I continue to seek attachment. I seek to help our children learn to love and and forgive and seek to know each other and most importantly to know Jesus. The one who allows us to be truly attached.