Stillness

Whether you turn to the right or to the left,

your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying,

“This is the way; walk in it.”

Isaiah 30:21

I just love how God speaks to my heart when I need Him most. The hard part is I have to be still and quiet to hear Him and I'm often moving to quickly to do that. He gave me five children to care for and teach and sometimes I feel so insufficient for the task. I love to be organized and on top of things but with 7 to do laundry and dishes for I feel so behind and I hate that! I want to be caught up on scrapbooks, finish painting every room, and even get the yard looking respectable. That sandal I can see out my kitchen window has been under the trampoline for a month! More importantly I want to know that each boy is getting all the encouragement, instruction, attention and direction he needs. I want to make sure Chad is happy and loved and that I maintain that solid foundation for our home. I want to remember all my family and friends birthdays. I want to know to make all the right choices with my time and I know I am not. Sometimes I'm too tired to do the most important thing. I'd love to have spring cleaned and gotten all those things done I had on my list for May but now it's September and they'll have to wait until next year. I struggle with guilt of not meeting everyone's needs and constant thoughts of the future. What needs to be done regarding the girls adoption, should I be homeschooling, the new Calvary Chapel Monroe, etc etc. It can be overwhelming and it seems like 24 hrs is definitely not enough to do what HAS to be done.

Just when my day has been so busy that I'm dizzy and exhausted, I see Aidan cuddling Hope and hear him tell her how happy he is God brought her to us! It's all worth it!!!Tucking Ryland in last night he told me that he loved me more than any grown up could ever get loved by a little boy (to the moon and the stars and Jesus in heaven and back again). With Aidan in school for 6.5 hours (far too long!!) and Ethan for 2.5 hrs, he and I are getting to spend more time together; he lives for craft time after the girls go down for their morning nap. I know I am meeting his needs. :o) And Ethan on our special date last night told me that sometimes he has felt like Daddy and I care more about the babies than them but that after our time together he knows that's not true.

I realize that all I have to do is the next right thing and sit at His feet every morning and walk in His spirit throughout the day. It is all good and no matter what comes our way, His love will quiet my heart, reminding me that each day lived for Him will have eternal worth.

"STAND STILL," my soul, for so thy Lord commands:

Even when thy way seems blocked, leave it in His wise hands;

His arm is mighty to divide the wave.

"Stand still, my soul, "stand still" and thou shalt see

How God can work the "impossible" for thee,

For with a great deliverance He does save.

Be not impatient, but in stillness stand,

Even when compassed; round on every hand,

In ways thy spirit does not comprehend.

God cannot clear the way till thou art still,

That He may work in Thee His blessed will,

And all thy heart and will to Him do bend.

"BE STILL," my soul for just as thou art still,

Can God reveal Himself to thee; until

Through thee His love and light and life can freely flow;

In stillness God can work though thee and reach

The souls around thee. He then through thee can teach

His lessons, and His power in weakness show.

"BE STILL" ~ deeper step in faith and rest.

"Be still and know" thy Father knowest best

The way to lead His child to that fair land,

A "summer" land, where quiet waters flow;

Where longing souls are satisfied and know their God,

And praise for all that He has planned.

~Mrs. Charles E Cowman