40 days

"Shout it aloud, do not hold back.

Raise your voice like a trumpet.

Declare to my people their rebellion

and to the house of Jacob their sins.

For day after day they seek me out;

they seem eager to know my ways,

as if they were a nation that does what is right

and has not forsaken the commands of its God.

They ask me for just decisions

and seem eager for God to come near them.

'Why have we fasted,' they say

'and you have not seen it?

Why have we humbled ourselves,

and you have not noticed?'

"Yet on the day of your fasting,

you do as you please and exploit all your workers.

Your fasting ends in quarreling and strife,

and in striking each other with wicked fists.

You cannot fast as you do today

and expect your voice to be heard on high.

Is this the kind of fast I have chosen,

only a day for a man to humble himself?

Is it only for bowing one's head like a reed

and for lying on sackcloth and ashes?

Is that what you call a fast,

a day acceptable to the LORD ?

"Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:

to loose the chains of injustice

and untie the cords of the yoke,

to set the oppressed free

and break every yoke?

Is it not to share your food with the hungry

and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter

—when you see the naked, to clothe him,

and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

Then your light will break forth like the dawn,

and your healing will quickly appear;

then your righteousness will go before you,

and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.

Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;

you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

"If you do away with the yoke of oppression,

with the pointing finger and malicious talk,

and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry

and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,

then your light will rise in the darkness,

and your night will become like the noonday.

The LORD will guide you always;

he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land

and will strengthen your frame.

You will be like a well-watered garden,

like a spring whose waters never fail.

Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins

and will raise up the age-old foundations;

you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,

Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

"If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath

and from doing as you please on my holy day,

if you call the Sabbath a delight

and the LORD's holy day honorable,

and if you honor it by not going your own way

and not doing as you please or speaking idle words,

then you will find your joy in the LORD,

and I will cause you to ride on the heights of the land

and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob."

The mouth of the LORD has spoken.

Isaiah 58

:: :: ::

I love this chapter in Isaiah. Thank-you to Joanie for posting these verses over at her blog. She is a wonderful example to me. She and I were on the same page this week.

I have been studying deep the book of Daniel and how filling it's been! I've been desiring to give up some things to the Lord, spending more time in His word and prayer, desiring to have resolve, self-control, and strength like Daniel. Beth Moore's videos have spoken to my heart about being a part of this Babylon. 'Our society of gotta have it, now, more, bigger, better, if I can afford it (or even if I can't) I'm gonna get it.' And can't we see that about to come crumbling down?

I agree with Beth's admonition to be in the world, influential in the word, without being influenced and like the world! We're to be set apart for holy use. Satan wants us to be common and unholy, not set apart for God's use but doing just like everyone else who does not believe in the Most High God. We are to be different. How can we be if we're craving and doing and busy being just like everyone else? I'm talkin to myself here!

I feel like I need to be different than the traditional Lent, though I'm not sure why. But I like a clean, non-stop break, for my fasting period. Beth Moore asked us to join her in a challenge, giving up rich meats for the first half of the Daniel study. That was just not giving up much for me. I barely eat any meat.

So I've thought and prayed and this my own challenge, and my own quiet 40 days of intentional time on my knees memorizing scripture, praying for our country and my family. I will seek His face! I anticipate the blessings of focusing on Him.

It's not legalism, it's not the law. There is nothing I can DO to make myself right with God. I cannot be holy without Jesus Christ. It is because of Him, and Him alone that I can know God and receive eternal life. But Matthew 25 has been speaking to me. As has Isaiah 58. It's not something I will talk about during the 40 days. I won't be preaching it, but I'm posting here to let my (5? ;o) readers know why I'm gone and write out my thoughts...

Small in the scheme of things, but large in my life, I will be giving up 3 things for the next 40 days...from tomorrow Mar 1st until April 9th. the day before Good Friday.. surfing, sugar and shopping.

Maybe you don't struggle with this and you just don't get it, that's okay, but it's good for me to write out my thoughts. :o) Though in and of themselves, these 3 are not sin, Satan uses them in my life. The internet is not so bad, but does suck me in. I love reading about others lives, being encouraged by how they struggle with the same things I struggle with, finding out new ways of doing things, ideas about homeschooling, gardening, photography etc.

Even sitting and uploading pictures, or emailing will be out and much time will be available for other things for this season. I will check emails from my phone, just to be sure not to miss appts and correspondence re: fostering and trainings etc.

Sugar, is highly addictive for me and saps my energy and my health. I struggle with moderation here. I'm betting the evil one thinks I cannot do it. But I can, and I will, showing His strength and resolve in me. Only in His strength. I bought some stevia and of course honey and fruit will be on hand. :o)

Chad will do the grocery shopping and I will be buying NOTHING for the next 40 days. I wonder how much money we'll save? Though truly that is not the reason for doing this. It is my hope at the end when I do return to the stores, that I will ask myself, "Is this a need or a want? Is this for our benefit or for self-indulgence?" He is sufficient for me. My satisfaction and happiness is found in Him.

What a blessing and a breath of fresh air to let go of some things that can hold me captive. And the best party of it all...with the extra time and money we will be caring for the oppressed and the poor as He's instucted me in my quiet time.

We will be proactively looking for ways to serve that will go hand in hand with homeschooling. Not burning ourselves out on ministry, but using our days to be used by Him.

I will be focusing on the boys and helping them with their struggles of fighting and unkind words. We will be praying more and reading scripture with them, each and every day. We will be volunteering at the Matthew House (name inspired by the verses below :o) here in our town, as well as clearing out our home of things we do not need, that others might be praying they had.

Please keep me in your prayers and I seek His best for our family's life. Love, Becca

:: :: ::

The Sheep and the Goats Matthew 25

31"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. 32All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

34"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

37"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
40"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

41"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'
44"They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'

45"He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'

46"Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."

:: :: ::

yesterday

For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. Romans 8:15-16

anxiety, annuity, answers... feeling alone

pondering, not pestering; pressing in

perfection I lack...not even close, sinful

without resolve, many are the mistakes I make

simplifying, sustaining; stagnant, we're not

ALL that He has for us, will include meeting our needs

Focusing, not fretting; trusting what we know

what is to come? to continue? God's faithfulness! His glory!

enriching, energizing, enveloping, encompassing

with faith of a child, carefree yet cautious

preparing like the sparrow, joyfully, contentedly
dilligent, not distressed; decisions, though~knocking, calling
many mouths to feed, what is one more?

just today, I am called, today to follow You
grace, provsion, for today alone
yes, all the joy my heart can hold
present yet, abundant still
abide Lord Jesus, abide here I pray, today

22We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? 25But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

26In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. 27And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. Romans 8:22-27

Chad worked so hard on our homegrown efforts this weekend! Thank-you sweetheart!

The southern side of yard is all fenced now for two goats for milking! I will be visiting the babies to choose from tomorrow! (Thank-you Grandma Sharon for the gate you gave us, many moons ago!) Delicious, fresh organic, goat's milk. Yum.

The northern side, nearly all fenced to protect our fruit trees. The chicken coop is also in there, as will be our bunny hutch (we bought our first breeding bunny today), and our square foot garden will be enlcosed next to the chicken coop. Safe from little boys, dog and racoons!

We're pondering what to get...more ducks and chickens or geese this time? Decisions, decisions!

Duck eggs are delicious and much larger, providing more sustenance than chicken eggs (the green are duck eggs, brown are our chicken eggs, white are store bought). But ducks are so messy. And geese will be much more likely to survive the racoons, especially since we have Tennyson. Though he is an inside dog, he is still a great deterrant and the pesky racoons know he's here now.

Just some random thoughts and plans over at our home. :o)

prayer needed

Annah and Viktoriya

We are in need of prayer. A big decision type of prayer. I want the Lord's choice to be made not mine. This will bring great change within our family which could be wonderful or it could undermine some wonderful changes we've seen in Annah over the last 4 months. Sigh....please pray that Chad and I would know when to listen to Annah (and we DO consider her very important in the decision) and when to listen to each others' conclusions. And above all over the next 3 days, that Chad and I would really seek Him, on our knees.

Another prayer request... tonight my heart officially broke. There were pieces dangling, threatening to fall, but I held out hope it would heal. Not so. I had been told I shouldn't call but that Teighly WILL NOT be kept from calling us if she initiates the request. Well after that last call where Teighly cried her heart out to me saying she was unhappy and she needed to come home NOW, I was worried she may not call again. I did such a good job trying to steer the conversation to something cheerful, and I did, I kept her from continuing to cry. I told her that she had to give her grandma a chance and that she truly loved her. She told me "NO. YOU ARE my MAMA and I need to come HOME to you and my brothers!!!"

It was so hard. I wanted to cry with her and say "YES you are not in the BEST home! I want you to come home too. I LOVE you Teighly Bella!!!" or at the very least I wanted to say "I really want you here too, I too believe you belong here but we need to do the right thing and try to be happy at your Grandparent's house." So I have guilt that she might have taken my response as not really caring because I didn't cry but kept it upbeat trying to diffuse her emotions so they would continue to let her call me. Nope, it didn't work because she never called again. I pray Teighly knows I really was bawling my heart out {{inside}} and that I miss her as much as she misses me. Oh how I hope she knows that.

So since then we've sent a couple packages and not heard anything and that is not like Teighly to not want to at least call after she received a package and I always showed her family great courtesy when they sent something by having Teighly wait to open it until they were on the phone! I'm not even sure she got it. Annah made such a beautiful album for her and we don't even know if she got to see it. Please pray for my heart, because it is physically aching. It HURTS. I am willing to feel pain in the ministry; I am willing to do it again even. But I worry when I'm not positive that I did my very best for her. And I miss her! And boys does that hurt!!!

The pain was manageable knowing I could still stay in touch with her. They promised as long as it was she who initiated the contact, contact could be made. Well that terrible call where Teighly cried was exactly 1 month ago today and I bit the bullet and have called several times, maybe 2x a week for the last two weeks.

I called again tonite and the grandma finally answered. She was cold and harsh. "Teighly is doing fine. Fine in school, fine with friends, fine with HER father, fine with religious instruction. FINE." "okay, did she get our package? did she see the album? Annah was wondering how she liked it since she made it for Teighly." "Yes, she did. And she has not mentioned you guys at all since. She's not asked to call, she's not spoken of you. Your job is done and I'd just like to make the break, so I don't want you to call here again." Click. Sobbing on my side of the line this time, to a dead tone.

So that's where we're at I guess. I hope Aunt Pam will keep her promise and call when she's out on a visit with Teighly. I told her, whenever you take Teighly out shopping or to a movie, will you make it a habit to call, even for a quick sec? And she promised. Please Lord let her keep that promise....

Lord Jesus, I lift up Teighly to You. I need to know that she is okay, that she is loved and happy and most of all will still be hearing about YOU! I wish I had done a better job parenting her. I ask forgiveness for the times that I let her down and I pray that she will remember the way the good times outweighed the bad 100 fold.

Please Lord Jesus, let us have contact with Teighly, Please let Aunt Pam call me and let me talk to her. This hurts deeply Lord and I don't know how to heal without being able to hear her voice. Please Jesus, you love her more than I and You know what's best for her.

Please let your will be done in her life. She is yours and You have not abandoned her. Help Teighly to see this and to continue to seek You. Each night as she goes to sleep, bring to her mind the prayers we prayed as she was here with us that 12 months. Draw her to Yourself dear God, please keep her close to You.

In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

confusion, trust, hope

My heart is aching and nothing can be "done" to fix it. I can only trust Him in this time of pain. He is the only one who knows. Aidan and I have spent time together just letting it out. Not talking or trying to reason, just in pain together.

I thought Ryland would be the worst off, but after the traumatic morning where all four of us cried and prayed for over an hour, Ry began to speak of her normally, as a friend in another state with whom he vows to remain close to. Ethan found his own version of scrabooking to be cathartic. But Aidan and I just hurt.

When she called Saturday evening we talked for quite awhile. She asked how much Chad missed her. "A LOT!" I said. Then she wanted to speak to Aidan. She sounds okay. Aidan tried to sound okay. I'm so glad to have this small friend. It's almost like we both felt a little better because we hurting together. Almost.

“The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing... not healing, not curing... that is a friend indeed." Henri Nauwen

*Edited to add...I know there are many others, hurting and missing her too. Graci has cried herself to sleep too, I know. Poor sweetie, lost her best friend. I'm praying for those of you and I ask for your prayers too.

There is one thing that does help, besides prayer. No, two. One is that I must admit things are quieter. There is less fighting, less drama and more time for each child. That just is what is and I cannot deny it. There is also less smiles, less giggles, less cuddles, less joy. Oh wait I was trying to make myself feel better! Yes, we will be staying at 6 children as long as God has Annah in our home. And number two is...

Planning a ROAD TRIP! We're hoping to take an early summer road trip with all 6 kids. Yes, you already know we're crazy! ;o)

We'll head from here to Arizona to see my sister Sarah, brother-in-law Bernie, and niece Jalyn, Reece's mom Cora, and maybe Teresa herself! Then we'll continue on to Texas and see Micki, Jesse, Blade, Sabre and Chad's mom Joanna! They've only met Aidan! Then we'll head up through New Mexico, Colorado and Utah then Nevada! Stopping in a city we would never usually visit~Las Vegas to see how our sweet T-Bella is doing! Well maybe Nevada should come first then head straight north. Who knows~the best part is planning the trip! It will be an excellent homeschooling adventure.

Talk about FUN! Praying gas stays below $2 a gallon!!!

Russian Analyst Prediction

Wow. This is a super-short, interesting article.

There are many things I would do different in regards to money, looking back. Yet, on second thought, I have learned so much from my mistakes and I'm thankful for where we are right now, in most respects.

I only hope to learn from them and not keep making the same ones! Hopefully there is a way for us to dig out of this hole as a country, united.

Yet, His will be done. His plans will succeed no matter what and I glory in the fact that He is all-powerful and what He has said will come to pass, will indeed come to pass.

http://www.drudgereport.com/flashrur.htm

"When asked who would replace the U.S. in regulating world markets, he said: "Two countries could assume this role: China, with its vast reserves, and Russia, which could play the role of a regulator in Eurasia."

2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

One other good article is Ron Paul's The Austrians Were Right

50 Ways

to Help Unborn Babies and their Mothers.

This is a wonderful article by Randy Alcorn, writer of an amazing little book called The Treasure Principle.

my vote

I know I am not sacrificing the way so many are but I couldn't agree more with this man...


Thank-you Toni for posting this yesterday.

Ryland's finger

Sunday night, after church, Ryland managed to get his right index finger in the door jam of a large heavy metal door – and the door was then shut. At first, Becca and I thought it was just another boo boo – smashed finger in the door trick. A little crying and some cold water or ice, and all would be well. We quickly realized that this was more serious. We are both veterans to seeing and dealing with blood. But this was probably the single most traumatic thing either of us has experience with our kids. His finger, from about 1/8 inch behind the back of his nail (right index finger) was crushed (bone fractured) and completely severed, minus a bit of skin still holding it on.

Becca and I just lost it when we saw the smashed finger tip just flop over and dangle there. A total of only 1\2 inch, and thankfully not as far back as the joint. But it did mess up the ‘nail bed’, so he may never grow a fingernail on that finger again. We rushed him to the ER and they took him straight in and began working on him. He’s about as stubborn and hard headed as a kid can get, and it took Becca (I went home with the kids) and nurses all they could muster to keep from getting totally beat up by his kicking and punching and grabbing as they poked him (often right into the open wound) with needles over 8-9 times just to try and numb him enough so they could sew the finger tip back on.

I think this process was more traumatic on him than the initial injury. Becca is frazzled and completely spent after having to go through that with Ryland. And based on my ‘post traumatic stress’ (can’t close my eyes without seeing that finger tip flopping over like that), I can only imagine she’s even more traumatized. The other kids (who didn’t see the same thing we did) are doing fine. They were a little freaked out at first, not knowing if Ry was going to be OK or not. But now they are more interested in seeing the stitches and stuff out of morbid curiosity that most boys seem to have (and girls – TBella is still with us).

Ryland is doing great. He has some pain that shoots through now and then. He takes children’s Motrin and that helps a little. I think soccer will be put on hold for a week or so though, but he’s already back to wrestling with his brothers… Tomorrow we are taking him to see a specialist (surgeon who works with amputations and severed limbs) based on the recommendation from the ER doctor. We are praying that he’ll say all looks well. But he could say that the finger tip needs to be re-done and that would be not be good! I know it’s just a finger tip. In the long run it isn’t that big of a deal. But this really shook us up and we can all use your prayers.

-Chad

If you're brave click on the link to see his wound. It may serve as a strong warning to other kids to not linger at door jams.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v623/sonkissed/Oct08152.jpg

Welcome to Annah!

Annah O.

14 years old in Dec

silly, funny and fun-loving

born in the Ukraine

came to the USA at age 2

girly~loves to shop

a good cook ~ likes to bake

genuinely loving

likes sports

joyful

99% sure!?

God's 1% is POWERFUL!

T~Bella is still here. This is no small miracle. Will she still be here in 1 week, 1 month, a year? I do not know. But what I do know is that a little girl prayed to Jesus asking for the judge to say "not yet." And the judge said just that. Wow.

How is that for a long story short?

A tearful day

Tears of joy and pain alike as we celebrated T~Bella...

yes, it is worth it...

Dear Becca, I'm glad that God brought me into this home and I'm glad that you're like a mother to me, because, if you weren't then I would be really sad and miserable. Dear Becca I'm also glad that you let me cuddle with you sometimes during a movie because when I was younger my mom said I could sleep with her or snuggle with her and she never did. But that's why I'm glad that I'm here with you because my other mom was never there for me and she didn't care if I told her that I got bullied and she wouldn't do anything about it, but now that I'm here with you I feel like I know you would do something and help me. If I wouldn't have come here I would still be in that shelter for teens and miserable sad lonely and lost and confused. Just like I felt when I was with that last foster family that didn't want me. I love you so so MUCH!
Angel 5-10-08
PS Read Corintians 13:4-13:8

(found in the back of my Bible this morning)

Comment to the comments on T-Bella's post

Thanks so much for your comments and encouragement. I'll admit I need them, and your prayers!

You know me Mom, I am going to prepare the heck out of it!!! Hoping it helps somewhat at least!

As I tucked her in tonite, she prayed "Jesus, let me, just let me stay here, where I belong. Let the judge say that he believes I am better off with this family. Tell him that I need brothers and sisters. And I need my mama. Amen." Tears of confusion sting more than tears of sadnes. I was not confused earlier. Sad, yes, but not confused. I knew what was happening was right. And now?? Now what?

Toni, you know I never would've though I would be albe to do this. There are so many thing He has taught me over the last 3 years, places he has brought me that I could've sworn I would never be. Regret, depression, fear, doubt, guilt, confusion, despair, selfishness, anger, sickness, and the place I was I would not wish on the worst of enemies. But with it all I learned that I had to dilligently seek Him, and when I did, every morning, the peace slowly returning and the fog lifted. I began to see how obviously I was not where God wanted me to be. Seeking and reading and learning gave way to change in my health, understanding and contentment, peace and joy, a passion to share this wonderful home I originally detested for many seasons, to bring Him glory, desire for change, a 'no matter what' attitude towards what or where or who He has for us. I still cannot tell you how it happened so I challenge you to go there. Just start the foster care process and see what the Spirit does! I am so very excited for you, Reed and Anna.

Learning to Trust

To my T~Bella...

Our sweet girl... for nearly 10 months we've watched you grow and blossom. For so very long you've been a part of our family, so much so that I have felt you were always here.
And I dared to think you might always be.


Writing this before you leave somehow makes me feel better; I'll have too many tears to do it later. At least I can go get a hug when I'm done writing!


You have made me laugh so many times, so hard my sides ached. I have loved teaching you to to love to learn and to love Jesus, praying to Him often, to keep a clean home, to bake and cook, to read, to ride a bike, and to swim.

I want it to be said that even though I am sad, I am not angry and I do believe that it is right for you to be going to live with your Grandma, and eventually maybe your Daddy. Though right now it may be difficult, we did chose this in taking you into our home. You are adamant that it is wrong and you belong here, but I have continued to assure you that your family has a right to you, and we will not be able to fight it. We will still be your extended family even if you do not live with us.

You began calling me Mama about half-way into your time with us, and I couldn't stop you. I have been your Mama. I have cared for you when you were sick and have loved you as much as I love the rest of our children. I have held you when you wake with a bad dream or when you've gotten hurt.

I may only have you with me for a few more weeks and while that breaks my heart, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you belong to Him and He will go with you. (Yes, even "all the way down to Nevada?") On Friday September 26th, just 2 days before your 7th birthday, the judge will decide where you should live. We are covering you in prayer and I know you will be where He wants you. You are a light and you will shine for Him in your new home. But oh how we will miss your antics, your klutziness, your energy, your intensity, your hugs and kisses, your sweet nature and your love!

Things I'll never forget about T~Bella...

::

How she loved everything nature... bugs (moths and ants!!!), claiming pet worms and snails, watching and naming birds, everything about kittens, climbing trees, finding big leaves, picking flowers, collecting pine cones, finding shapes in the clouds, playing in the rain and on and on...
::

::
How she LOVED playing games! Especially Twister!
::

::

How much she adored caring for and nurturing her "babies". She will be a wonderful mother some day!!! And how gentle and kind and patient she was with Hope and Halle.

::

::

Her Shirley Temple-like giggles and smiles.
::

::
The way she could run into an end table stubbing her toe, bruising her elbow, just walking through the bedroom! The way she would trip over an air pocket, again and again and again...

::

::

How she could charm anything off of just about anyone~except Chad! (the donuts at Safeway)

::

:: How she loved to do a craft of any sort, anytime of the day! ::

:: The way she always had sticky stuff in her hair, always;Without fail. ::

:: How she begged to wear a skirt or dress every single day no matter the occasion. ::

::

Jumping, running, flipping with her on the trampoline. And how she was banned from the rope swing because she couldn't swing without hurting herself.

::

::

How she had to hug & kiss us every 10 minutes.

::

::

The way she obeyed so quickly normally,
yet trying to get her out of a swimming pool or lake or river took forever.

::

:: Her love of all things girly, twirly, pretty or pink. ::

::

The way she had to play with the boys all the time, but oh the drama! They fought every 10 seconds, T~Bella feigned great offenses and tattled non-stop. (I had no idea how rarely the boys tattled until then). I have to try to remember the bad too! ;o)

::

::

The way we would cuddle in the morning, or rock in the rocking chair and talk about all we were going to do that day. Then she would run off and pick out the twins outfits.

::

:: How quickly she forgave anyone and everyone of anything. ::

::

How I loved her twinkly brown eyes, and happy dimples.

::

:: And lastly, how T~Bella taught me to trust God with what I cannot keep. ::

12

Twelve years ago.

That’s when I made the best and biggest decision of my life.

To marry Rebecca.

We didn’t take the decision lightly, but with a lot of prayer and contemplation.

But it just came naturally and it was clear we were meant for each other.

We’ve been best friends since we met and continue to be today.

I can honestly say that the journey with her has lived up to the hopes and dreams I had for us 12 years ago.

We are alike in just the right ways, and different in just the right ways.

She grows more beautiful each year – inside and out.

She holds my heart in her hand and can steel my breath with a look.

She is an incredible mother.

I love watching her sit on the floor with one of the boys to play Transformers or GI Joe action figures.

I love watching her eyes sparkle with joy when one of the twins gives her a big hug or kiss.

I love how she is proactive in raising the kids, to the point of taking charge of their schooling.

I love how she has high expectations of each of them, but loves them no matter what.

I love how she still laughs at most of my lame jokes.

I love how she’s still kinda klutzy, yet very athletic.

She makes me want to be a better Christian, husband, friend, and father.

I thank God for blessing me with her.

Life has many challenges and adventures, and nothing beats tackling and experiencing them with your best friend at your side.

It’s been 12 years, yet it feels like just yesterday.

It’s been 12 amazing years, yet somehow I know the best is yet to come.

Indoors

with a sick boy is no fun anytime but when it's 80 and beautiful out, it is especially painful.

Ethan has been sick since Sunday but got worse today. 103-104 fever but no other major symptoms. A doctor came to our home today (I love Microsoft!) so I didn't have to expose the other kids to emergency room germs. She thought it was strep but the test came back negative.

Poor sweetie, at one point he was nearly 105 and I was wipping him down with cold washclothes and he said "Mom, I'm freezing! Stop being mean to me!" The things we have to do to be a good mom!

On a happier note, Charity is home! Hip-hip-horray!

We love you Charity!!!